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Comical MW: TMF/A-804 BuCUE Feline aka "Hovercat"


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[Credit for the idea goes to Roromi, who showed me the article this 'technology' is based on!]


General and Technical Data


Model number: TMF/A-804

Code name: BuCUE Feline aka "Hovercat"

Unit type: experimental non-aquatic hover-capable ground assault mobile armor

Manufacturer: ZAFT

Operator: ZAFT

First deployment: N/A

Capacity: Pilot only

Height: Approx. 14m (to tip of beam cannons)

Weight: Approx. 60 tons

Construction: unknown

Power plant: ultra-compact energy battery

Equipment and design features: Buttered ToastTM anti-gravity mount

Fixed armaments:

1x Double-edged beam saber, mounted on mouth

2x 3-pronged beam claw, mounted on fore feet

1x 2-barrel beam cannon, mounted on Buttered ToastTM





TMF/A-804 BuCUE Feline aka "Hovercat"

Lightning Saix (Zoids) © Tomy[/align]


Historical Notes


An off-shoot of the Kerberos BuCUE Hound research was the idea that the form of a cat could be utilized for superior mobility. "Cats are more agile than dogs," was the compelling argument of one researcher. However, ZAFT Command was not keen on funding a completely new design at the time, at least without further technological innovation.


While mulling over the dilemma, the lead researcher was browsing over the TermiNeT, and found an article about Anti-gravity Theory regarding cats and buttered toast which said that "if toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, the combination of both would result in gravitic equilibrium" (Article). It was a long shot, but anti-gravity was the only hope the project had for funding. By highlighting the theoretical principles of anti-gravity (and hiding the fact that buttered toast was involved), the team was able to convince ZAFT Command to provide barely adequate funds for the side-project.


The result was a surprising success. In the hands of ZAFT's most capable (and least likely to be embarassed) test pilots, the BuCUE Feline not only showed great combat prowess, but also proved the Anti-gravity Theory to be correct, at least on such a massive scale. The mobile armor was able to achieve a hovering altitude of as much as 20 meters, in additional to being able to survive drops from over five hundred meters without ever touching the ground. Theoretically, this limit may be exceeded, but requires testing in the territory of paranoid Earth residents who are either dog-loving or cat-hating (or both!), or who are simply not used to seeing giant metal cats fall from the sky. (Talks are underway for testing in Orb, a nation where residents do not discriminate between dogs and cats, and are used to seeing all kinds of giant metal things fall from the sky.)


Understandably, the design is more commonly referred to as the "Hovercat".


Technical Notes


Buttered ToastTM Anti-gravity mount


The second part of the anti-gravity system (the first part being the base feline frame), the Buttered ToastTM anti-gravity mount provides the necessary counter-forces needed prevent the unit from touching the ground. It is made of dense layers of whole wheat grain spread with a thick layer of butter (all straight from Junius) and baked in an oven so large that it would bake a hundred pizzas all at once (which was, in fact, done to celebrate the unit's completion). Once cooled to perfection (a master baker was brought in to taste it), it is installed with stabilizers and a 2-barrel beam cannon (which the baker was not required to taste, but did).


The effectiveness of the system is unquestionable, but the system inexplicably shuts down when the unit comes into contact with liquid H2O, making the Hovercat the only unit in existence marked with a tag that says 'dry-clean only.'

Edited by Guest
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"The duration of the toast's freshness is directly proportional to the size of the slice."


i.e. Small slice (person-sized) = short freshness duration; big slice (MA-sized) = long freshness duration.


I wager it'll take about a month before that toast goes completely stale.

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