talon 0 Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 (edited) Full name: Gideon James Ravenor Nickname: Mad Raven Age: 25 Birthdate: June 25 C.E.60 Blood Type: Ab Gender: male Race: Coordinator Occupation: Council Bodyguard Birthplace: Januarius 4 Citizenship: PLANT Personality: Calm, cool and collected Gideon approaches situations with a cautious attitude and searches for any way to talk his way out of bad positions without a fight. He can usually assess the situation and react with appropriate measures. Gideon is extremely afraid of losing those he has sworn to protect and that hay cause him to do acts that he would normally not, earning him the nickname Mad Raven amongst his friends and colleagues. Appearance Height: 5'10" Weight: 183lbs Hair Colour and Style: long, straight, Brown/blond streaked Eye Colour: Green Skin Tone: Tanned White Build: Strong, Athletic Clothing: Black military hat, Green t-shirt with ZAFT logo in the back, Black leather jacket, Black jeans, Handgun on left hip. Handiness: Right-handed Mother: Caroline Marks Father: Zephyr Ravenor Girlfriend: Kara swole Personal History: From an early age Gideon traveled with his family to all sorts of historically significant sites. Gideon comes from a wealthy family of the Januarius city, having an extremely successful business chain. Gideon is a partner in the family business and thus has a lot of money to use for travel. Gideon visited numerous battlefields and devastated areas in his parents attempt to turn him away from the war path of some coordinators. Gideon even visited Junius 7 before its fall. Through his travels he learned of the pain and suffering mankind had inflicted upon itself. The destruction of his home during the war was a shocking reminder of the horrors of combat. He was fortunate enough to be at a party with his family and the majority of his friends on Januarius 6 when 4 fell. Gideon has a pathological need to protect others, this has led him to become a bodyguard even though he has enough money to live a Very pampered life. Gideon had always valued his strength and his ability to protect those who he cares about. This is why he chose to become a body guard. In his training he valued knowledge as powerfull as any weapon. Though during his training he decided to invest in a side arm. He valued appearance as much as the bullets the gun actually carried, for the power of intimidation was in his books a viable tactic. He chose the sleek powerful weapon called the Hercuitor 9 as his side arm. Though he has never fired his weapon in anger he still keeps it with him through all his travels. It was through his travels that Gideon met his lover Kara. He was visiting orb on a year long study trip. She had been walking alone in an alley, she hadn't notice the two thugs off in the shadows and by the time she did it was too late. Gideon had been sitting in the shade off around the corner. When he heard the commotion he got up to see what was happening he got around the corner only to see two guys with a girl pinned to the wall her shirt in a tattered heap on the ground the larger of the two men was pressing himself against her, his hands on her chest. The scene was disgusting and Gideon knew he had to react. In one swift motion he ran forward and threw a punch in the face of the man pressed against the girl. Gideon felt bone break. The man staggered and fell back on the ground clutching his bloody nose. The other man drew a knife from his belt and in the same moment caught the sight of the handgun pointed at his head. Gideon grabbed the girls arm and held her behind him as they backed out of the alley with his gun pointed at the pair. When Gideon noticed the girl covering her chest and shivering he took off his jacket and covered her with it. She looked up into his eyes and he saw the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. The Deep blue eyes staring up at him showed an affection for him. With her long brown hair flowing in the wind it was love at first sight. Gideon later found out that she actually was a coordinator and when his school visa expired he convinced her to return to plant with him. Upon completion of his training program he applied for a position in a bodyguard service on Januarius 7. After a few months he was accepted and quickly proved that his abilities were exceptional. He was even assigned to many bodyguard missions that took him to earth. Kara and Gideon have dated for a few years and their love has stayed strong. Though she supports his career choice Kara does wish they had more time to spend together. Kara has recently applied for the military and has decided to pursue a career as a soldier, hoping to learn how to defend herself and others. Gideon had always been transfixed by the sight of mobile suits and the ginn was no exception. On one of his assignments to the Mediterranean he met a junk guild member named Adrian and was offered to try piloting one of their old mobile suits. The GINN he was given was an old ZAFT unit from the first war. Adrian came up with him in the cockpit and showed him the controls and explained that because the majority of his team were naturals it had been modified for their use. Gideon found the machine easy to use and when Adrian got out letting him have his fun Gideon immediately hit the air. The view was amazing and Gideon from that moment on wanted to pilot. Gideon has spent a lot of time since in mobile suits, mostly the base unit ZAKU that he has bought with his considerable wealth. After six months in the service of a a prominent ZAFT family Gideon was offered a position by one of the Supreme Council members to protect him and his daughter. He has held this position for 2 years and has climbed to the rank Captain Of The Guard. In recent time Gideon has started to consider a military career yet is cautious of the massive commitment. Edited May 8, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liubei013 0 Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 Looking back at your previous two profiles, this is probably the best. However, there are a few issues I'll address. 1) Sometimes you have a tendency not to use proper capitalization for names of places and certain proper nouns. (e.g. Januarius, Orb, Mad Raven, Coordinators, Kara Swole, etc.) Not a major issue, but there are enough to be a bit noticeable. 2) History: The second paragraph suddenly had him armed with a pistol, despite not being military personnel. A brief explanation would probably suffice. (e.g. Self-defense as he travels, etc.) The third paragraph relating to his interest in mobile suits is nice and all...but there was no transition. I mean that him meeting his lover while traveling around made sense since it flowed together. But the third paragraph is too abrupt. Also, your history did not state how he obtained the job as a Council bodyguard. I noticed a few grammatical errors as well, but I'll either let others point 'em out or I'll do so later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
talon 0 Posted May 3, 2007 Author Share Posted May 3, 2007 (edited) Thank you , noticed some of those things while i was reading throughout it today (i had printed it off so i could go over any mistakes), but yeah they suggestions are much appreciated. now updated! Edited May 3, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
talon 0 Posted May 3, 2007 Author Share Posted May 3, 2007 Sorry for the double post but i just would like to get some more feed back on my character thanks all for comments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaizer 0 Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 The transition to his mobile suit fascination looks a little better now, and his personality and history look pretty good as is, minor grammatical errors and the like aside (a few missing commas are mostly what I saw, but its still literate and readable, so its not a great issue). The only addition I would like to see would be a bit more on Gideon's relationship with Kara. Is she living with him now? Has their relationship become any more serious? Is she accepting of Gideon's career choice and the danger it puts him in? And what does she think of his mobile suit fascination? She's obviously an important character to you, so it would make sense to build up on her history with Gideon's profile, and then make an NPC profile for her after Gideon is approved (I still think that me, Winders and Wilhelm are the only ones who have ever made an NPC character, so prove me wrong by making Kara ). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
talon 0 Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 Thank you your suggestions have been appreciated if there are any more im open. If not id like to get rping Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valiant 96 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Words like GINN, Naturals and Coordinator should be capitalised. The same goes for Junk Guild, PLANT and ZAFT. This would be very important especially if you wish to apply for entry to ZAFT. With regards to a civilian owning several mobile suit, he would need to be very rich to be capable of that. And if he were so rich, he wouldn't need to be working as a bodyguard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
talon 0 Posted May 5, 2007 Author Share Posted May 5, 2007 He works as a bodyguard to satisfy his need to protect others. Otherwise corrections have been made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valiant 96 Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 How does he maintain his wealth then? Each mobile weapon would cost a few hundred millions. If he bought so many, wouldn't he be bankrupt by then, given that he only worked as a bodyguard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
talon 0 Posted May 6, 2007 Author Share Posted May 6, 2007 OK, thank you, i see your point, his money is maintained due to his partnership in the family business... Any more i need to get done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valiant 96 Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 There are still some issues with capitalization. Please check that. This has been approved. You may now apply for a faction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilhelm 0 Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 Welcome to Zaft Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.