Xover 0 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 (edited) Full name: Nicholas Joseph Fury, Xover (currently has amnesia, and does not remember real name) Nickname: 121 (reference to his patient number and dog tag number) Age: 19 Gender: Male Race: Coordinator Occupation: Patient in medical ward Birthplace: November City Citizenship: Formerly of PLANTs: an application into ORB citizenship is pending Personality: Xover can’t remember anything about his former life; he wishes to know who he was before, but is afraid of who he might have been. Xover thus tries to remain strong and pretend that everything in his life is fine, and he hides his thoughts, because he cannot find anyone he feels he can truly empathise with, and share them to. Appearance: Fairly chiselled features, a flat nose that indicates that it has been broken many times Height: 173 cm (1.73m) Weight: 68kg Hair Colour and Style: No hair. He’s bald. Eye Colour: One eye is grey. The other one’s missing. Identifying Marks: An eye patch, a scar across his right eye, a flat nose that’s been broken many times and a tattoo on the back of his neck that reads “Xover” Skin Tone: Dark brown Build: Fairly muscular, but small and compact Clothing: Besides his patient gown, Xover also has purchased a dark trench coat, a beige sweater and black jeans Handiness: Ambidextrous (prefers right hand) Background Mother: Unknown (she left after his birth) Father: Jack Fury (forgotten) Siblings: Jacob Fury, Dawn Fury (forgotten due to amnesia) Wife/Girlfriend: None Personal History: Xover was born as Nick Fury, a young boy on November City who was renowned for an inquisitive and open nature. With an increasing interest in the military and newly developed Mobile Suits, Fury and his brother both joined ZAFT, hoping to work with more Mobile Suits. Nick graduated at the top of his class, and was assigned to a special forces defense unit, while his brother was assigned into the main army. Early into his career, Nick was approached by a ZAFT official to participate in a project: "Crossover" where ZAFT agents were given orders to integrate into separate Earth societies in an effort to monitor the Atlantic Federation. Nick was tattooed with the word "Xover" (the X being a cross) on his neck to identify him as part of the project, and put on standby. He would be informed of where his target society was, and in the meantime was assigned to patrol and perform reconnaissance on ORB. Nick was on patrol when his Mobile Suit malfunctioned. Nick tried to eject from the suit but was unable to, and was thrown from the suit after he crashed. Nick was found on the ORB beach, a year ago, unconscious, the ruins of what appeared to be a Mobile Suit floating beside him. He was immediately under suspicion as a ZAFT operative: his red pilot suit and the broken dog tag(with the letter "N" the only legible writing left on the tag, and the number "121" etched on the back) around his neck pinned the label of "ZAFT" to him. He had suffered second-degree burns, and his left eye had been slashed open to the point that it was irreparable. He had multiple broken bones, fractures, and blood loss. He was quickly rushed away to hospital to be treated, and there he was nicknamed “Xover” for the tattoo penned on the back of his neck. The ORB military was immediately informed of Patient 121, “Xover”’s condition, when the Mobile Suit remnants were found to be a ZAKU, the primary weapon of ZAFT, that had been equipped with recording equipment, and Xover’s genetic structure showed him to be a Co-ordinator, Xover was immediately isolated in his ward, and the doctors treating him were ordered to remain silent about what little information they knew about him. When Xover awoke, he was interrogated by a group of military officials, yet the only response that Xover could give to their questions about him, ZAFT, and what orders he may have been under was “I don’t know.” Psychological analysis proved that Xover had amnesia, and his brain had been damaged by the crash; it was most likely that he might never remember his former life. Even in he event that he did, it would be very, very, very far away from the present. The military quickly lost interest in Xover, and pulled out the project concerning him, as they did not wish to waste money and time on a dead end. Xover was left to recover from his injuries in peace. Recently, Xover’s doctors predicted he could be discharged soon. He has sent an application for ORB citizenship and if he becomes a citizen of ORB he hopes that he might join to ORB's military in the hopes of finding something out about who he was in the past. Edited November 12, 2006 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winders 0 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Age: Can’t remember, estimates late teens, to early twenties Put down how old he actually is; he doesn't have to know this figure but it has to be down. Xover was found on the ORB beach, a year ago, unconscious, the ruins of what appeared to be a Mobile Suit floating beside him. How would he be in ruins of a mobile suit if there are no wars going on? What about a pilot suit and or dog tags, did he have any of those? Wouldn't that give off his identity? The bio is good but you should put his life prior to amnesia even though he has the condition. Also try to use the template, you're missing a couple headers http://www.adventdestiny.com/index.php/topic,17.0.html Coding is at the bottom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ishian 0 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Remove the OOC chatter in front of the character templet it makes it look abit sloppy and introduce yourself in the introduction forum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rad 0 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 The bio is good but you should put his life prior to amnesia even though he has the condition. Seconded. Also, your "handiness" should be Ambidextrous, given your description. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xover 0 Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 (edited) ...introduce yourself in the introduction forum Done that a loooonnngggg time ago. As Macbeth Forrester. YAY! Criticism! Will get to work! Actually...can I please leave it like that? I mean, the part about not writing in the before amnesia life? Because...please? Me waits for an answer before I write the rest. Sorry winders! ' Oh, alright, I'll do it. Gimme a sec. PS: I can't find what I'm missing... Edited November 10, 2006 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valiant 96 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 You should still reveal his name here even though he can't remember it IC. You can further explain that Xover is the name he goes by for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xover 0 Posted November 12, 2006 Author Share Posted November 12, 2006 I've tried to keep it short. What else do I need to fix? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valiant 96 Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 It looks good, although I'm not sure if Orb would accept a citizenship application and an application for entry to the FREE Forces. I believe you should already be a citizen to apply for entry to the military. Rad, correct me if I'm wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xover 0 Posted November 12, 2006 Author Share Posted November 12, 2006 Just to be safe I've followed your advice, Val. There we are. Now, fix what, hai hai? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valiant 96 Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Looks good to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xover 0 Posted November 12, 2006 Author Share Posted November 12, 2006 I would now like to apply for entry into ORB FREE forces, please review Rad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rad 0 Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 We will be deliberating on your application as soon as we can. Please await our next post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rad 0 Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 [align=center]Orb Union Bureau of Citizenry Kusanagi City, United Emirates of Orb[/align] This is to certify that Mr. Xover has permanent resident status in the United Emirates of Orb. Signed and Noted by: Representative Rad Rider-Kamakura -------------------- A conditional welcome to ORB, Xover. Valiant's earlier comment was right on the mark, so for now, your access to the faction board is being withheld. After deliberation, it has been decided that your character's application for citizenship is acceptable, which is why your certificate is one for permanent residency (realistically, it takes years of residency to attain citizenship). In the meantime, your citizenship must be listed as PLANT. Unfortunately, the FREE Forces does not allow entry for anyone who is not a citizen of Orb, especially for a person who is considered to be an operative of another faction. Therefore, we are giving you three options: 1) Accept your entry as is, role-playing as a non-citizen civilian resident of Orb and letting the RP take its course in determining your character's entry into the FREE Forces. Note that future entry, though done in the RP, is still considered like a new application (i.e. Your case will be deliberated again). 2) Voluntarily withdraw your application from Orb. If you choose to do so, we wish you all the best in applying for another faction. The last, and most complex option: 3) Modify your profile to explain why the FREE Forces would accept a person they would have already classified as an operative of ZAFT into their roster. With this option, your case will be deliberated once more, and only once more. If we are satisfied with your explanation, you will be accepted as both a new citizen of Orb, as well as a member of the military. If not, you will be asked to choose between options (1) and (2). If you choose this option, I must insist that you save a copy of this current profile before modifying it. In the event that you fail to impress us with your explanation but still wish to remain a part of Orb, you will be asked to revert to this version. We will await your decision on this matter, here on your thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winders 0 Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Please note if you modify your profile for RP purposes then it will have to be re-approved. Things like clothing changes, hairstyles are 'k Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xover 0 Posted November 13, 2006 Author Share Posted November 13, 2006 Mucho Coolios! I'll apply later in the RP! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rad 0 Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Very well. Welcome to Orb, Xover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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