King of Hearts 0 Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 (edited) General Full name: Ramón de la Cruz Nickname: Ray, Sunshine Ray, King of Hearts Age: 19 Gender: Male Race: Natural Occupation: Street Musician Birthplace: Main City of Orb Union Citizenship: Orb Union Personality: Ray is your average happy go lucky guy. He has a laid back attitude but can be serious at times. You rarely see him without a smile and he tends to spout off poetry out of his mouth at unexpected times. But underneath all of that, Ray is a very understanding person. He will strive to help his friends and those who need it if it is possible for him. Ray also a darker side to him, a side which he never lets out unless anyone he cares for is in trouble. His favorite quote is, "Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind..." Appearance Height: 5’11 Weight: 67kg Hair Color and Style: Unruly and spiky black hair that reaches his neck. Eye Color: Icy Blue Identifying Marks: None Skin Tone: Tan Build: Fit, has a toned body and not overly muscular Clothing: Ray usually wears a white T-shirt under a black sports jacket with a pair of black jeans, and a pair of blue sneakers. His eyes are hidden under orange tinted circular shades and on his head is a bowler hat. A black acoustic guitar always strapped to his back. Handiness: Ambidextrous Background Mother: Julia de la Cruz (Deceased) Father: Alexander de la Cruz (Deceased) Siblings: Maria de la Cruz (Younger Sister) Wife/Girlfriend: None Personal History: I was born on 7th of January on the year C.E. XX. My father was Alexander de la Cruz and my mother was Julia de la Cruz. My father, Alexander de la Cruz was a noble and respected man. He came from a very wealthy family but he was not arrogant and selfish, he was quite the opposite actually. My mother, Julia de la Cruz was a beautiful, kind and gentle lady who came from a poor family. Before she married my father, my mother sold flowers for a living to support herself and her family. My father met my mother on the streets of the city one day and it was love at first sight. One thing leads to another and they finally married after three years of relationship. After a year of marriage, I was born and a year after that, my little sister was born. My sister and I were raised well by my parents. Back when I was still a child, I was very polite and shy while my sister had no manners at all and she was very out going. But we’ve outgrown our old personalities it seems. When I was still a child, I had many friends, but most of them are the female of the species. They taught that I was cute or something and I always blushed when they said that. Once, there was a girl who tried to kiss me when I was ten. That was one of the most interesting memories of my life. My sister and I have a very close relationship. If she has a problem, she would tell me and I will help her with it. I often thought her as my queen and myself her knight who will always be her protector. When I was thirteen, tragedy strike. My father and mother were killed in an accident. The event affected me deeply but more so my sister. Although I wanted to curl into a ball and cry, I stopped myself and acted strong for my sister. We didn’t eat for days while I accompanied her in her room. She had often cried herself to sleep. I managed to cheer her up after a few days and that’s when our wounds started to heal. The even changed both of us. I was not shy anymore and I was more mature. My sister also more mature. It seems like we’ve aged a few years in that few days. After that event, my sister decided to join the military and entered Orb’s military academy. I followed my sister’s actions and joined the academy too. In the academy, I learned great many things. I learned how to fight, how to handle and use firearms and I also learned to pilot mobile suits and many other things. I was the best fighter and firearm user who was a natural in the academy. But after the academy, I didn’t join the military force like she did. Now she is an active pilot for the Orb Union Military while I was just another street musician. I handed the inheritance from my father to my sister but I kept some for myself, just enough to survive for a few years. When my sister asked why I did it, I answered with “I think I need to learn to live own my own, and beside I don’t need that much money anyway.” My sister and I then went on our separate ways but I still keep tabs on her. I am her Knight after all, albeit a dark knight. There was once an incident where another academy student who tried to sexually harass my sister when they where alone in a dark corridor. What they didn’t know was that I had been following my sister. As he was about to touch my sister in places where it is forbidden, I grabbed his arm and twisted it until the joint was out of its socket. I then told my sister to run back her room while I finished my business. I beat up that student until he was not able to move anymore. Luckily the student didn’t recognize my face because of the dark and I was not kicked out of the academy or locked up. If anyone mess with my sister or anyone else that I care about, then they are going to pay a very heavy price. Edited April 8, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valiant 96 Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 How can he be a street musician and a full time military personnel at the same time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King of Hearts 0 Posted April 5, 2007 Author Share Posted April 5, 2007 Oh, already edited that man. I forgot to delete it from the old file, hehe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valiant 96 Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 That's the pitfalls of the "Copy and Paste Technique". The history is a little short. Try to add more to allow us to understand the character better. How did the things that happened change him? Wee there any other events that shape him as a person? If so, how did they affect him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuku with Nodachi 0 Posted April 6, 2007 Share Posted April 6, 2007 Hello! Not really a big thing, but aren't people with the surname prefix 'de la' (of the) Mexican in origin, which would mean that 'Cruise' in this instance should actually be 'Cruz'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evo_Sieg 0 Posted April 7, 2007 Share Posted April 7, 2007 (edited) I agree with Fuku back there... You could also add more to the personal history. Try to narrate deeper things about him, so we could get a better picture of who Raymon is. One point is the "darker side" of him. How does this happen? What happens when his "darker side" takes over? Could you describe it for us? Hmmm... The surname sounds familiar, isn't it Fuku? Edited April 7, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King of Hearts 0 Posted April 8, 2007 Author Share Posted April 8, 2007 Edited the bio. Tell me how it reads and I'll do the edits if there are things that needs to be edited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valiant 96 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 The darker side is still too vague. You need to explain what it is. We RP in third person here so you should write the history from a third person perspective rather than first person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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