kristian 0 Posted November 26, 2006 Share Posted November 26, 2006 Full name:Jerron Nickname:Jenkins Age:21 Gender:male Race: Naturl English Occupation:Mobile suit pilot Birthplace:London Citizenship:Earth Alliance Personality:Jerron is a solitary person who likes to get the job done, he is calculative and will sacrifiice things, and people to ge the job done, he is not 'evil' but will do what ever it takes for the cause he is fighting for, once he learns to trust you, and you him, he can become a friend, but if its a choise between his friends life and a mission sucsess, the mission wins Appearance Height:6,1 Weight:200 Hair Colour and Style:black hair, it is long and natualy straight Eye Colour:blue Identifying Marks:Jerron has a tattu on his right arm saying in small letters 'honor and courage' Skin Tone:Fair skin Build:Jerron is well built and has a muscilar frame, he is not overly muscular but, is stronger than the average man Clothing:When not in formal uniform, Jerron normaly whears a pair of blue jeen's and a red T-shirt, since his favorite colour is red and, jeen's are very pratical Handiness: Right hand Mother:Amber Tams Father:Jerron Jenkings (senior) Wife/Girlfriend:Jerron has never had a wife, nor a girl friend, no girl has got close enough to him to ever become a friend, and those who try, fail misserablly and are scared off by his manner of consertraiton of the goals he has Personal History: As a young boy Jerron ran away from home, his Father beat him terrably along with his mother and, one day when his father came home drunk, he accsidentaly killed his mother and turned on Jerron, Jerron just mannaged to escape and lived on the streets for 2 years untill he was 16, he then got a job repairing motor bikes and was paid with money, food and shelter, it was after he ran away from home that jerron lost interest in friends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
konigstiger 0 Posted November 26, 2006 Share Posted November 26, 2006 Some points you must consider before Valiant(Admin) gets here: -longer personal history - elaborate some more, like: How was he accepted in the EA? What happened during those between the time he escaped and when he reached 16? Who taught him to repair motor bikes? Stuff like that... -give the Full Name of your character -check the spelling - AD is very strict on grammar and spelling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OPA 0 Posted November 27, 2006 Share Posted November 27, 2006 Pretty much what Konog said to ya mate... The full name of your character...Jerron [last name]. The personality is pretty good. His weight: 200...what? pounds, kilos? If his mum is dead, then let us know...eg: Mother: Amber Tams (deceased) or (dead). The personal history still nedds work mate. As Konig pointed out, you need to elaborate more. ie: You've established his early life. Now elaborate on how he started working on motor bikes? how did he get into the EA? and when did he join? how did he become a MS pilot? has he been a pilot long or is he just new? Stuff like that also double check the spelling and grammar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winders 0 Posted November 27, 2006 Share Posted November 27, 2006 Could you please format your profile to the template towards the bottom of this post: http://www.adventdestiny.com/index.php/topic,17.0.html His race, it should be just Natural His height is it in feet or meters? Is his weight in pounds of kilograms? Please state the unit of measurement. Try copying your profile to Word and spell checking please. Why are jeans very practical? Did something in his life happen to make him feel this way about jeans? If so then state it in the history. How was his early years as a child before he ran away? Were they laced with abuse? If so how did that affect his personality or how mentality? After his mother was killed did he report it? If not, why didn't he report the crime? How did the death of his mother affect him? After escaping, he lived on the streets; how did he fend for himself until the age of 16? Did he join any gangs in order to survive, did he live with alternating friends or did he beg everyday; whatever he did, it must have affected him in some way, explain. How did he get a job repairing motor bikes, did the owner feel sympathetic for him and took him in as a second child? What was his relationship with the owner? As far as I know most homeless people don't get a job, food AND a shelter all in one hit. Your character profile needs alot of work, try to include any aspirations he has and explain how that aspiration came to be; eg: inspired by an event. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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