Kamika Araio 0 Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 (edited) Full name: Kamika Yua Araio Nickname: Yua Age: Sixteen Gender: Female Race: Coordinator Occupation: Soldier/Engineer for a Local Professor Birthplace: Aprillus City Former Citizen Of: Onogoro Isles Citizenship: Classified? (Im not Sure...) Personality: Kamika is altogether, your average girl. Her attitude is simply acting like everything is calm. She rarely admits to any emotion, and has a unusual obsession with confusing people using unusual sayings. Her favorite word is apparently "Pathetic". Altogether, she is a mysterious, unusual, person. Appearance Height: 5 Inches 6 Feet. Weight: 102 Pounds. Hair Colour and Style: Knee Length Black Hai. Eye Colour: Grayish Black. Identifying Marks: She has a large Scar down her right arm, though you cant see. Skin Tone: Light, Pale Color. Build: Skinny. (She Has No Build) Clothing: Normally, she wears a black sleeveless top,with a red mini dress overtop. To add, she has a black coat tied around her waist, and black running shoes. Handiness: Right Handed. Background Mother: Saiyuki Araio (Deceased) Father: Koharu Araio (Deceased) Siblings: Howasku Araio (Brother) Martial Status: Single. Personal History: "Life Can Be Perfect... And Yet, Its Not." Kamika Araio originally lived in Copernicus with her Mother and Soon To Be Born Brother. Her Father's unusual death in a Shooting at Copernicus (While She Was 4) forced her to move away. Onogoro City was the next destination for the young girl, and she possibly lived there for more of her life. Her studying in the city was on engineering and how to build things. While going through this, the C.E. 72 war raged on. A small battle occured at this time, causing her to loose her mother. With little left, which only is her brother, she moved to Aprillus City. To avoid war, Kamika keeps herself and her brother away from any contact of Military. Though she is positive, she will be pulled into war, one day. Edited April 25, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kct 0 Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Sorry if I have to say this...but the history is way too short... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liubei013 0 Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 (edited) Guess I'll take a look... 1) The stated Birthplace is Aprilius city. This is contradicted by the Personal History: She then moved to Copernicus, her birth city 2) Citizenship: Except for very limited circumstances, there are no 'classified' citizenships. It would make sense if your character intends to enlist with ZAFT for her to have a PLANT citizenship. (If that's the case, do not just state PLANT, state a specific PLANT colony/city) Or her current residency at Copernicus. 3) From your descriptions in the Personality section, Kamika is anything BUT average. 4) And in your History, you made a fairly common error. The current year is CE85. The first Battle of Orb took place in the year CE71. That, in accordance to your character's age, would mean Kamika was TWO years old when the attack and unfortunate death of her parents occurred. Also, Onogoro Island houses the ORB military, not the civilian population. And yes, your history is too short. Though we believe in quality>quantity, it generally takes at least three to four paragraphs to really flesh out one's character. All in all, this profile still needs a bit of work, but it's not a bad start. Edited April 28, 2007 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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