Kisaharu Mataru- Revised and Redone

[Kisa 0]

General

 

Full name: Kisaharu Mataru

Nickname: Kisa, The Silver Bullet

Age: 19

Gender: Male

Race: Coordinator

Occupation: Student at Pilot Academy

Birthplace: Aprilius City

Citizenship: PLANT

Personality: Usually cold to others, Kisaharu hardly has the patience for other people and finds himself in a series of fights. The few people who earn Kisa's patience are usually the very last thing he cares about.

 

Appearance

 

Height:

Weight: 5' 8"

Hair Colour and Style: Jet-Black hair.

Eye Colour: Dark Brown

Identifying Marks: N/A

Skin Tone: Light

Build: Athletic

Clothing:

Handiness: Right-Handed

 

Background

 

Mother: Mirru Matsaru (deceased)

Father: Vega Matsaru (deceased)

Siblings: Mina Matsaru (presumed dead)

Wife/Girlfriend: None, but if by some chance you were to win Kisa's heart, he would fight for you to the end.

 

Personal History:

 

When Kisaharu was five years old he had met his grandfather for the first time and developed an interest in the military. Kisa and his sister, whom he was closest to in the family, would spend a lot of time together and watch the pilots work on their MS. Kisa grew close to one of the pilots and would help the man with his mobile suit. Kisa however, was unaware that the pilot had a history of problems with his family. One day on the way to help the pilot he stopped at his house to find out the man had kidnapped his sister. Kisa quickly headed to the hangar to find the man, his sister was his only friend. When he arrived he asked around and heard that the man had left with a unconcious girl, who seemed dead. Kisa made the decision to leave to a military school so he could perfect himself in his own ways.  Although his parents thought his ambitions were crazed and stupid, they decided to send him to a military school so he could fulfill his dream. At the age of fifteen Kisa had develped a lust for battle and not to mention a temper. He had become and ideal pilot and became known as "The Silver Bullet" because of how fast he was at completing simulator missions. After graduating from the military school, Kisaharu decided to return to his family. After returning to Aprilius, he heard from his grandfather his parents had died. Kisaharu became enraged and hated himself for not being there for his parents before their death, first his sister, now this? He left and changed is last name to 'Mataru' so that he could hide his identity. Now at the age of 19, Kisaharu has became a student at the pilot academy, where he hopes he can become a pilot to find the pilot and save his sister, if she still lives.

[winders 0]

Could explain how your characters got access to military compounds to watch pilots maintain their MS, it's not exactly open space they work in.

 

Also try spacing the paragraphs, it's hard to read a huge slab of text.