Alan Beoulve

[Alan Beoulve 0]

~;;'|-G-|e.n.e.r.a.|-L-|';;~

 

Full name: Alan Fellan Beoulve

Nickname: Alan

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Race: Coordinator

Occupation: Student

Birthplace: Junius City

Current Residence: October City

Citizenship: PLANT

Personality: You could describe Alan as 'Bipolar'; due to his unusual changes in attitude. When near close friends, and specific people, Alan is more of the loud, random, lazy person. Though it does not seem obvious, Alan does not get along with people well. When near complete strangers, he is quiet and possibly kind. He holds an unusual bitterness to Naturals' because of how his parent's died.

 

Alan also has a large amount of hatred to his brother, because of the older Beoulve's betrayal.

 

Appearance

 

Height: 6 feet 2 Inches

Weight: 124 Pounds

Hair Color and Style: His hair is a deep blond shade, and it is fairly messy.

Eye Colour: His eyes are a shade of azure blue, with a tint of red in one eye.

Identifying Marks: He has a large scar down his right arm, reasons are unknown.

Skin Tone: A light, pale peachy color.

Build: He's not built, but average.

Clothing: He normally dresses in A navy t-shirt, with black shorts. Overtop, though, he weards a white cloak, with two red crosses on each side.

Handiness: He is left handed.

 

Background

 

Mother: Midori Beoulve [Deceased]

Father: Hero Beoulve [Deceased]

Step Father:: Merik Simmons

Siblings: Shaun Beoulve [brother]

Wife/Girlfriend: None.

 

Personal History: The Beoulve family was a highly respected, 'rich' family. They had once lived in Junius City, where both Alan and Shaun had been born. Shaun had been born as a Natural because his parent's had not wanted their first child to be lost in any complications. After Shaun had turned six, his parent's had given birth to their second child. Alan was the only Coordinator son born to the couple. Ever since his birth, Alan was not given as much attention has he had deserved. Shaun was possibly 'spoiled' with attention.

 

For a living, both of Alan's parents were scientists. Alan's mother researched anything involving the human genes, whereas his father studied life in other galaxies. Both were involved extensively in PLANT research.

 

Problems between Alan and his older sibling kept growing. There was a time when Shaun had tried to smash a small Mobile Suit figure on Alan's head. The younger boy had replied by punching Shaun on the face. This small incident was considered a small mistake, but as time grew, the fights only worsened. There was a time where Shaun had tried to make Alan bleed to death. Fortunately, Alan's Coordinator reflexes had kept such from happening. That was considered the worst of the worst.

 

As these petty fights carried on, Alan learned and grew aware of his Genetic abilities and why his brother would despise him so much. Overtop, Shaun would always mention how radical the ZAFT were with their Coordinator allies. A deep interest for mechanics developed within Alan, as his younger mind tried to imagine being a part of ZAFT or even ORB.

 

When Alan had turned 15, both of his parent's sent Alan to Heliopolis for a visit. Without his knowledge, Alan's older brother had left to join the Earth Alliance Forces. Shaun has always held a bitterness for Alan, because of Alan's genetic abilities. In little time, the news of Alan's parent's death arrived at his doorstep. Both had been in a car accident of sorts, and the person who had caused the accident was a Natural taking a U-Turn.

 

Afterwards, Alan was transferred to October City, where he lived with his 'Foster' Father, Merik Simmons. Merik was a resident of October City, and had once been a close friend to Alan's father. Merik was also a Coordinator, and this would be the first time Alan had lived with one of his own people. Ever since, Alan has attended a Highschool of sorts, where he wants to achieve both his parent's goals. To be the first person to bring the dead, back to the living.

 

The ideas to bring people back came from reading his mother's research. She had revised the rules of Mitosis, and Meiosis, and had thought of genetic mutation using a distant relative of a person, and the same person's DNA. The idea to bring back a person, as a younger version of himself. The only apparent flaw was the lack of technology at the time, and the fact that authority and respect was needed for anyone to even think of trying such a stupid idea. Alan's hopes were not crushed, yet he knew he couldn't do anything without first achieving a high status.

 

That was where the idea to join the Military came into idea. Without any second ideas, Alan Beoulve, believes rising in the military ranks will allow him to achieve his new lifelong goal.

 

 

`;;~|+|A|.l.a.n.|+|B|.e.o.u.l.v.e.|+|~;;~

Edited June 12, 2007 by Guest

[DragonDaimyo 3]

All right, then. The general and appearance sections look alright to me. Now we come to the background.

 

First off, you simply need more. This is pretty short compared to what we usually look for. Take a look at some of the character profiles in the Character Library for examples of how long you should aim for.

 

Also, I'm confused at what your character intends to do. The brother betrayal is an interesting touch, especially if you let someone roleplay the brother at some point in the future. But it looks like your character wants to learn to bring someone back from the dead? At least, that's how I read that last part. This is where my confusion sets in, as it seems like a better goal in a Full Metal Alchemist-type setting. How does Alan intend to go about trying to pull this off? How in the world would it relate in the least to the current storyline and future conflicts between Earth, Orb, and ZAFT? Or is this going to be a side thing that he does? This aspect of Alan's character either needs to be reconsidered entirely or explained much more than what you have.

 

On the plus side, I don't see a lot of spelling and grammatical errors and, like I said, the rest looks good to me.

[Kaizer 0]

As DD says Alan, you need a little more in the background history.  The rest is up to par, and there is little in the way of spelling or grammar errors (only noticeable one I found was that new's should be news).  I would suggest putting in a little bit of how Alan grew up and some of the small fights he most likely had with Shaun (sibling rivalry and the like).  As well, you should put down how Alan relates to his foster father; do they get along at all?

 

Finally, I agree with DD that you need to expand on how Alan and to a lesser extent, his parents, had planned to revive the dead?  Alan's not gonna summon a zombie is he? 

 

And I just have to ask, like I do with anyone when I see a familiar name; do you play Final Fantasy Tactics? 

[Alan Beoulve 0]

There, I corrected my mistake. Eh, Sorry about the mistakes and all. I'm not really too good with this kind of stuff... seeing I normally make shorter profiles.

 

Thank you, once again.

 

~;;'|-|A|.l.a.n.|-|B|.e.o.u.l.v.e.|-|';;~

[DragonDaimyo 3]

I still think the "Bring someone back to life" thing is a bit odd, but at least it's somewhat understandable now, so I guess I'll content myself with that. However, the are a few other problems.

 

Grammar-wise, you seem to have some capitalization problems. "After Shawn had turned Six", "only coordinator Son". Each of the underlined characters are incorrect capitalization errors. That should help you track the others.

 

Now, on to the history. "There was a time where Shaun had tried to drown Alan in his own blood." That's incredibly extreme to say the least. For one thing, it'd probably take more blood than a human body holds, and second off he'd be dead long before he lost that much blood. Methinks it might be a good idea to opt for a more... mundane ( ) modus operandi here, like a gun or kitchen knife attack.

 

Secondly, how did Alan's parents die? Car accident? Terrorist attack? Mad Cow? You don't need to spend much time or detail on it. Maybe even just one extra sentence, but it would be a nice thing to know.

 

Lastly, you should probably expand on what his parents do for a living, since that seems to factor in heavily toward Alan's motivations. Alan's mother appears to have been toying with human genetics and experimental techniques. Was this her job? Was it research that the family had carried out for generations on the side? Was Alan's dad involved with this at all? If not, what did he do?

 

Those are the big things I can see.

[Alan Beoulve 0]

Well... I know I have errors in my spelling. But anyways, thank you for the corrections.

 

~ <+> Alan Beoulve <+> ~

[hannahkiki 0]

Just curious, how is Merik his "foster" father? Is he a relative? It would be good to elaborate a little more on him.

[Alan Beoulve 0]

Ehm... I've attempted to correct all of my mistakes, though I am positive there are still some left. Well... thank you for the suggestions.

 

About the question someone asked before; I believe it was Kaizer asking whether I played something called 'Final Fantasy Tactics'?

 

I'm sorry but I haven't heard of it. Why would it seem like I have? I'm just curious, what game system is it on?

 

Thank you once again,

 

 

~;;' <+> A.l.a.n.B.e.o.u.l.v.e. <->';;~

[liubei013 0]

Looks good.  I'm a bit wary about the whole 'bringing someone back to life' thing as well, but otherwise, this profile seems to be good.

 

Free bump.

[Valiant 96]

I share the same concern as liubei. If that is simply a goal he wishes to strive for, fair enough. But if you wish to actually make that happen sometime in the future, it would be pushing it.

[Kaizer 0]

I think as long as we keep Alan's goals as something to keep in the distant future (as he himself mentioned that current technology was unable to produce the desired results), then it should be allowed.  He wants his characters to carry on his parent's dreams, regardless of how controversial his parents' ideas may have been (fanatical devotion of some sorts perhaps?).  Remember that technology is not going to skyrocket in the RP (save perhaps in the military, and even then, the advancements won't be all that amazing), so it would take a LONG while for something like that to come to fruition.

 

On the topic of FF tactics, it was a turn based strategy game for the PS one a long time ago, and in my opinion, one of the best FF games to date (not to be confused with FF tactics advance for the GBA, as that one sucks x_x).  And I said that your character reminded me of the game because Beoulve is the last name of the main character's family. 

[Alan Beoulve 0]

Ah, gomen, I haven't been able to reply to my own posts in a while. Alan's whole 'bringing the dead to life' thing is just a goal, I won't allow it to really happen (let's face facts, dead people should stay dead, at least, dead people like... uh...). I'm not sure if I should post about which faction I want to join yet. I mean... I'm not sure if someones approved my character. So, if someone could do that, It would be greatly appriciated. If you already have done that, thank you so much!

 

And... about Kaizer's whole Final Fantasy Tactics thingy, I looked the game up on Amazon. It looks like... fun? Gah! I've always liked Final Fantasy VII and VIII better then the others (Squall rules!). Its kind of creepy that the main character has my character's last name. I'm going to try and buy the game (if I can, though my parents are saying no to me). Final Fantasy Tactics Advanced didn't look too different though, so... I'm not sure if I should buy it too. Anyways... arigato for the time you've spent reading this.

 

~;;'_-|+|< Alan. Beoulve >|+|-_';;~

[liubei013 0]

Please check the Character Template as we have an update.  In addition to that, you need to state which faction you wish to join prior to approval.