Zeru Ayanami

[Shaftronics 0]

Player

Player name: Shaftronics

Character number: 1

Faction: Serpent Tail

 

General

 

Full name: Zeru Ayanami

Nickname: Shrapnel

Age: 33? (Real age/birthdate Unknown)

Gender: Male

Race: Natural

Occupation: Serpent Tail Mobile Suit Pilot/Technician

Birthplace: Asia

Citizenship: Earth Federation

Personality: :  Usually laid back, and an easygoing guy who lives life as it is everyday, without complaining much. Although he is usually seen alone and seems quiet and hostile, he is actually just slightly shy, and doesn't find any reason to socialise unless needed. Even then, he does not mind company, and in fact, appreciates it when it comes. When in battle however, his demeanor can change into something more serious and commanding, if need be.

 

Appearance

 

Height:   1.76cm / 5'10 feet

Weight: 161 lbs / 75 kg

Hair Colour and Style: Short, black GI-styled hair, with a little tail at the front.

Eye Colour: Brown/Black

Identifying Marks: Long scars left behind from a mobile suit crash back long ago.

Skin Tone: Tanned

Build: Large

Clothing:   Usually wears a comfortable, baggy pair of jeans and a casual T-shirt, with a pair of arm gloves to hide the scars he has. If need be, he can spend long hours in a pilot suit, as long as there's enough stocks of deodorant to go around. He usually hates formal events, because he lacks any kind of formal dress whatsoever, other than his own uniform, which he has complained it was pretty... starchy.

 

Handiness: Ambidextrous, but preferably right hand.

 

Background

 

Mother: Kyoko Ayanami (deceased)

Father: Heishiro Ayanami (deceased)

Siblings: N/A

Wife/Girlfriend: None

 

Personal History:

During the first Bloody Valentine incident, Zeru was conscripted into the military, even at his tender young age, he was taught the basics of at least being able to maintain the war machinery that was being used by the Earth Alliance forces. His entire family was wiped out when ZAFT forces had attacked his hometown while he was away. When they were short of Mobile Suit test pilots, Zeru later on had spent his free time trying to program the movements of a mobile suit.

 

Even then, that did not stop the military from dispatching him into combat, using his position as a test pilot to try out new powered armor suits, or as a foot soldier doing the usual duties of a private. He later on caught the attention of his field superiors, due to his suggestions in tactics during battles, allowing them to be more flexible, and allowing tanks to overpower a small squad of mobile suits.

 

He was caught up in his work, and the battles he had participated in, not caring in the days that had flew past him. Staying awake for days on end soon became a common affair for the teenager at the time. So often, that he had lost track of time itself at times, and the difficulty of having no one to rely on, or having no hope left to return home; There was no one to return to.

 

Although only partially successful, as he only had time to program basic maneuvers such as running, walking, and basic aerial maneuvers, it had proved to be effective enough to at least give the Earth Alliance a fighting chance with whatever mobile suits they had, with more personalized OS's according to the pilot's preference. Zeru was one of these pilots, appearing late in the first Bloody Valentine conflicts, and was forced back into service, albeit with a much more efficient OS he had been working on. So far, he is one of the few pilots that had not used the simplified OS made by an individual who had designed it during a visit to Orb, or the OS made by the EA engineers, preferring his customized OS.

 

As the wars ended, he later joined Serpent Tail, using the only few skills he was good in into "good use", earning enough for himself to live his life away. Besides, he doesn't exactly have anywhere to return to. He'd prefer doing what he did best; fighting in the confines of a cockpit, enjoying the thrill of battle and actually "living a life" with it. Still, he feels a little lonely, but he got over it after a few years in the Mercenary's guild.

Edited August 1, 2007 by Guest

[Rad 0]

1) You should consider explaining why he doesn't know his birthday and his real age, as I see that it's directly related to him being conscripted. After all, if he was conscripted right at the outset of the Bloody Valentine incident (CE 70), he would have been at least 15 or 16, making him actually 30+ by this time (though he may not look it).

 

2) Sorry, but specific mentions of canon characters are not allowed. You could rewrite the sentence it to keep the general idea without mentioning specific names.

 

3) Since Serpent Tail disbanded just shortly after the second war, what has your character been doing in Orb for nearly a decade?

 

4) As a side note, we are using the English naming arrangement, even for Japanese names. Please switch first and last names accordingly.

[Shaftronics 0]

Off-topic:Ky-Kiske? I use 'em all the time in Guilty Gear. <3

 

Back on the matters at hand...

 

1)Yeah, I miscalculated the age, since I was rushing for time. Counted only after the 2nd conflict, but ah well.

 

2)Roger.

 

3)Probably Mobile suit reasearch, OS improvements or mainly just sent off on mercenary jobs if need be. I'll add that in.

 

4)Done.

 

Thank you.

[Azaru Vesta 0]

Hello!

 

Just pointing two things.

 

Please arrange character parents names right, they still have the Japanese naming arrangement.

 

Why your characters nickname is Shrapnel? Who call him that way?

Edited November 25, 2006 by Guest

[Shaftronics 0]

Mostly because he's like shrapnel from an explosive. Fast hitting, painful, and numerous in a way. Can I say Guerella tactics?

 

Thanks for the heads up, names have been fixed.

[Azaru Vesta 0]

Ok, then search a way to explain why/when/how your character gained or started to being called that way and put it into the personal history, you can check some approved characters at the Character Library, to get an idea of how explain it.

 

[Shaftronics 0]

Thanks for the critque then.

[winders 0]

Hair Colour and Style:  Short GI-styled hair, with a little tail at the front.

Just a little confirmation, is it supposed to be at the front? Cause that looks odd IMO

 

Also can you switch the Zeru and Ayanami in his full name around so that the First name is first and last name is last?

[Shaftronics 0]

Not exactly a long tail per say, you can ask Quroiser about my MSN display pic. Its similar to my irl hair.

 

Its a little tapering tail at the front, but its not longer than 2 cm or so, just unique enough.

 

And the I already changed the full name to the correct order. But I guess I forgot to change the thread title. D=

 

Thanks.

[winders 0]

No I didnt mean the size lol, I meant the location; it says FRONT, which I percieve to be the fringe. Is it like the little braids the padawans have in Star Wars?

[Shaftronics 0]

Nope, just a short little protruding hair.

 

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y246/shaftronics/Moi2.jpg

 

Not exactly related, but I can't explain it. Its the little extra hair on the middle of the front of my head, creating an arrow shaped protrusion pointing downwards.

[winders 0]

Ok just asking really, I'll be moving this profile now

 

Be sure to post which faction you wish to apply for

[Shaftronics 0]

Okay.

 

I'm applying to join Orb as a military personnel, as written in my profile. In my profile, he's been in Orb for the past 10 years, though I'm not sure if thats enough for a citizenship.

 

I await your reply. <3

[Rad 0]

We'll be deliberating on your application, so please wait for our next post with the results.

 

For the meantime, please make a note that, in Advent, any customized OS your character intends have on his future MW counts as a customization that must be submitted for approval. Until then, you have to assume that any MWs your character may pilot, if any, will have a basic OS that cannot be fiddled with.

 

Also, please remove the OOC at the end of the post.

 

EDIT: Oh, and to add to what I said about using the English name arrangement - there's no comma. (ex. Zeru Ayanami not Zeru, Ayanami).

Edited November 28, 2006 by Guest

[Rad 0]

[align=center]Orb Union Bureau of Citizenry

Kusanagi City, United Emirates of Orb[/align]

 

This is to certify that Mr. Zeru Ayanami is a naturalized citizen of the United Emirates of Orb, and is to be accorded with the same rights as all other loyal citizens of the Orb Union.

 

Furthermore, this citizen is an enlisted soldier in the Federation of Royal Emirates Elite (FREE) Forces, holding the rank of Sergeant, with duties and responsibilities thereof.

 

Signed and Noted by:

Representative Rad Rider-Kamakura

 

------------------------------

 

Welcome to ORB, Shaftronics.

 

Feel free to start RPing. Please keep abreast of all the Orb Foundation Week threads, as well as on the discussions in the faction boards.

[evo_Sieg 0]

Hello and welcome fellow Orbie! Welcome Sergeant Zeru Ayanami.

[M.E.T.E.O.R 0]

hey I`m new. Can you Guide me ? idon`t Where to start!

[Valiant 96]

Please look through our various guides, introduce yourself on the introductions board and post in the help section if you need further guidance.

[Shaftronics 0]

Bumping for resurrection. I'm back.

 

To justify my disappearance, lets just say I whisked off to solve up my past, eh? No better excuse than a little plot hole. Maybe a side story like Astray. Well, I'll catch up in a few days, depending on what our oh-so-great admins want eh?

 

Mm, since its moved, I'd like to re-apply for Orb, please.

Edited July 2, 2007 by Guest

[liubei013 0]

Welcome back, Mr. Zero Ayanami.  Orb Union citizenship reinstated and FREE Forcesmilitary application has been filed. 

 

However, it is with regret that the FREE Forces must demote you down to the rank of Leading Private at this moment and time.

 

Signed and approved,

1st Lieutenant Demetrius Amherst

 

(It would've been nice if you'd let us know about your absence beforehand, but no matter.  Welcome back.  )

Edited July 3, 2007 by Guest

[evo_Sieg 0]

Hello and welcome (back) fellow Orbie! good to see you back as well, hehe...

[Shaftronics 0]

Updated.

[Shaftronics 0]

I wish to change my Faction to Serpant Tail due to the story's reconstruction, if its not too much of a problem.

[DragonDaimyo 3]

New Serpent Tail member? Happy day!

 

All right then, let's have a look at things. My initial impression is that this looks like a pretty interesting character with a lot flexibility as to how he'll act in the coming war, which is always a plus. One thing I've noticed, though, is a number of spelling errors in the profile. I would recommend running it through Microsoft Word or a comparable program, as this (at least the version I'm running) seems to catch all the ones I can spot, so it would be a very quick fix.

 

One thing you might want to expand on is why he has Orb citizenship if he was born in the Eurasian Federation and fought in the Earth Alliance forces. Also, I don't think that Orb was really willing to share the Natural OS they got from Kira with the Earth Alliance at that point, especially given the increasing volatility of the political situation. I think the Alliance system is an Alliance creation, though they very well might have had their own Coordinators working on it.

 

Those are really the only problems I have with this new profile. It you can fix those up, I think we'll be good to go.

[liubei013 0]

Because this is undergoing the re-approval process again, I'll be moving this back to the Characters section.  And Shaftronics will be removed from NOVA as the profile is pending.

 

@DD: You got most of it.  I don't need to add anything else.