MobileWeaponAce 0 Posted September 19, 2007 Share Posted September 19, 2007 Name: Kanto Weyth Faction: PLANT Rank (in faction): Mobile Suit Pilot, Greensuit Referrer: fireminerva Reference battle: Operation Red Sun (fireminerva vs. MobileWeaponAce) http://www.adventdestiny.com/index.php/topic,1662.0.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valiant 96 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 I'm undecided over this one. You seem to alternate between active and passive voice. It doesn't flow well. In fact, this should be in passive third person. I suggest you refer to the way others RP. You have to understand that if you write in present tense, then switch to past, it sounds weird. So, are we in the past or are you describing it as it happens? And then you switch back to present. Hmm... so was the paragraph in past tense a flashback? I hope you get the gist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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