Re: Blake Lee

[Blake0831 0]

Player

Player name: Blake0831

Character number: 1st

Faction: Applying for Soldiers of Fire

 

General

 

Full name: Blake Lee

Nickname: Stripes

Age: 23

Gender: Male

Race: Natural

Occupation: Mobile Suit Technician

Birthplace: Toronto

Citizenship: Atlantic Federation

Personality: Blake is quiet and easygoing. He likes to voice his opinions in a conversation, no matter whether it’s asked for or not.  He can be a bit lazy when not at work, prefering to spend his free time reading or taking a nap. However, when he's working, he has a tendency to be oblivious to his surroundings. He cannot deal with sarcasm very well, and sometimes become the target of jokes because of this. He is usually calm and patient when dealing with people, but gets impatient with those who annoyed him. He can be a bit gruff at times and have a tendency to talk about things the way he sees it without any tact.

 

He’s a bit of a pacifist, and avoids fights if possible. But, if it’s unavoidable, he’s more than willing to give it he got. Although he doesn’t hold grudges, he doesn’t easily forget whatever wrong that has been done to him. He finds it difficult to make friends, but he’s deeply loyal and trustful of what friends he has. Although he rarely lost his temper, any conversational subjects concerning the Earth Alliance Forces will significantly shorten his fuse and put him into a bad mood. He takes about 2 days to calm down from this. Until then, he is not a pleasent person to be around with.

 

He has a fondness for cats ,especially tigers. This is why he's nicknamed 'Stripes'. He dislikes dogs in particular.

 

Appearance

 

Height: about 1.75 meters

Weight: about 60 kg

Hair Colour and Style: Blake has black hair. He likes to keep it short (but not as short as, say, a buzzcut) and generally combed it to the right.

Identifying Marks: A faint diagonal stitch, about 3 cm long, on his leftmost portion of his forehead. This was the result of being chased up a tree by a bad-tempered (and very large) dog when he was young. (The incident was also one of the reasons he dislikes dogs)

Skin Tone: Fair

Build: A bit Skinny.

Clothing: Blake likes to wear either a T-shirt or a polo shirt. Sometimes both if it’s cold. He prefers to wear slacks and khakis pants, but he absolutely will not wear a pair of jeans.

Handiness: Right-handed.

 

Background

 

Mother: Christine Lee

Father: Alex Lee

Siblings: A younger (and constantly annoying him) sister, Susan Lee

Wife/Girlfriend: None

 

Personal History:

 

          Lee Quan Ting, aka Blake Lee was born on January 14, CE 62. From an early age, he was fascinated with computer and machines, an interest shared with his mother, Christine, who was a computer programmer. Whenever possible, she would nurture his interest, either by bringing him to her workplace and involve him in her work, or bringing him along to various technological trade shows to give him an upclose and personal view of the latest complex machinery from various industries, from agriculture to military. It was here; in a trade show showcasing military hardware, where he first glimpsed what was what he thought was one of the most incredible machines he had ever seen. A mobile suit.

 

        Although it was his mother that encouraged and nurtured his interest in computers and machines, his father, Alex, who is a businessman, undoubtedly was the biggest influence on Blake’s moral bearing and overall personality. Blake’s father was one to lead by example, and he repeatedly impressed upon his son to treat everyone fairly, to do the right thing and to judge others by their actions, not by their race, birthplace, religion or by other peoples’ opinion towards them. Although his father does not share the same amount of enthusiasm for technology like him or his mother, his father constantly encouraged Blake to pursue his interests.

 

      At the age of 18, Blake joined the Engineers’ Corps branch of the Earth Alliance Forces. Although he relished his work as a Mobile suit mechanic and technician, he was becoming increasingly disturbed of the attitudes of some of his colleagues and the few soldiers that he had the opportunity to meet, particularly their hatred towards Coordinators. At first, he ignored it, thinking that this opinion was merely in a minority in the military, until he spoke up against it. Like before, his mouth got him into trouble, but not with whom he had expected. In short order, he found himself arrested and interrogated by the upper echelons. He was court martialed as well, accused of being sympathetic towards the ‘enemy’ and on suspicions of being a traitor.  Disillusioned and feeling betrayed by these events, Blake resigned from the EA Engineers’ Corps.

 

        However, Blake later had difficulty finding employment that lets him work with his beloved mobile suits. Many employers were suspicious about the circumstances about his resignation and refused to employ him. Left with no where else to go, he applied for work as a mobile suit technician with the mercenary group, The Soldiers of Fire.

Edited August 29, 2007 by Guest

[t569ssgoku 0]

The mods and so are gonna whine that you didn't use the format they so kindly provided. it requires some basic coding but they have a template on the top of the forum.

[Blake0831 0]

Oops. Sorry about that. Fixed now.

[PhoenixForce 0]

You have a few spelling mistakes in there such as 'repeat-ably' instead of 'repeatedly.' in the 2nd paragraph of your personal history.

[Blake0831 0]

Thanks. The word processer autocorrect function must have changed that. *muttering* How could I missed that...?

[liubei013 0]

I don't see any significant issues with your profile.  Looks good.

 

(Uh, except for paragraph 3, sentence two of your History.  'Altitudes' --> Attitude )

[Blake0831 0]

Thanks. Corrected the mistake.

[Valiant 96]

Although he can be a bit lazy at times, when at work, he has a tendency to ignore whatever is going on around him.

 

Does this mean that he's lazy when at work or he tends to be oblivious to his surroundings when at work? Review the sentence structure.

 

 

I find the following to be rather casual:

He has a fondness for cats (especially tigers. Hence, his nickname) and dislikes dogs.

 

Compare that with "He has a fondness for cats, especially tigers. This explains why he is nicknamed 'Stripes'. He dislikes dogs in particular."

 

Notice the difference?

 

There are several other instances for your use of brackets. Any particular reason for writing in that way?

 

 

he was increasingly disturbed over the attitudes of some of his colleagues and the few soldiers

Is this grammatically correct?

 

 

In short order, he found himself arrested and interrogated by the upper echelons, and court martial for being accused of being sympathetic towards the ‘enemy’ and suspicions of being a traitor

 

That's quite a mouthful if you read it out loud. Short sentences would work as effective, if not put the points across event more poignantly.

 

Note: As the result from his experiences in the military, he's a bit bitter about it.

 

Rather than simply adding this as a footnote, why not incorporate it into the background or personality and elaborate on it? What do you mean by "a bit bitter"? It's not possible to quantify bitterness but you could at least impress upon the reader exactly how bitter he is.

[Blake0831 0]

Thanks for your suggestions. I appreciate it. I've already corrected it. Please tell me if the profile needed improving.

[Valiant 96]

That's a vast improvement. 

 

Keep it up, Soldier.

[Blake0831 0]

Thank you for both the feedback and the character approval.