Laike Rinawan

[PhoenixForce 0]

PLAYER

 

Player Name: PhoenixForce

Character Number: 1

Faction: ZAFT

 

GENERAL

 

Full Name: Laike Rinawan

Nickname: Inferno of Martius

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Race: 2nd Generation Coordinator

Occupation: Military soldier

Birthplace: Copernicus

Citizenship: Martius city

Personality: Laike is a determined and thoughtful person. He can get very emotional when people talk about his parents in front of him, particularly his father. He does try to conceal his emotions from people he doesn’t know very well as he is quite shy after his father’s death and only talks to people when it is required unless he knows them better. This is pretty rare though as he usually only talks to his sister.

 

Laike does not fear death but fears the people he is closed to dying which is why he tries not to get too close to anybody. This sometimes makes people believe that he is cold-hearted or selfish. He hates people who insult his father’s choices in the war which gets him angered quickly as his father was like a hero to him.

 

 

APPEARANCE

 

Height: 1m 75cm

Weight: 65kg

Hair Color and Style: Laike has short spiky hair except the fringe is slightly longer. He prefers not keep his natural hair color as blond and dyes it dark blue.     

Eye Color: deep blue

Identifying Marks: small birthmark on the back of his neck

Skin Tone: Caucasian

Build: well-toned and athletic

Clothing: Laike wears a black T-shirt with white sleeves and dark blue jeans.

Handiness: Ambidextrous

 

BACKGROUND

 

Mother: Juli Ercestus (deceased)

Father: James Rinawan (deceased)

Siblings: 16, Violet Rinawan

Wife/Girlfriend: Currently single

 

Personal History:

In his early childhood Laike was a rather talkative and friendly person to everybody who approached him. He and his sister would spend their days playing with the city children despite their father leaving until the end of the first bloody Valentine and leaving again at the beginning of the second. They would not see their mother until later at night. A year after the PEACE treaty was signed; Laike’s peaceful life shattered as his mother got a job in Orb for engineering and had to move away. He and his sister were separated from each other as Violet was sent to live with her mother while Laike stayed living with his father.

 

James Rinawan was a well known and respected ZAFT veteran due to the two bloody Valentine wars. James fought in many battles and barely escaped every time. This has led to making him a lot of enemies. James has destroyed many ships of the Earth Alliance needed in their attempts to wipe out all coordinators. There were also specific ships made later to destroy James' crew. The Atlantic Federation set a bounty on the ship, hoping it would encourage forces enough to destroy the ship. Bounty hunters would interfere for the chance to destroy the ship and claim the bounty. Some of the ZAFT ships were thought to be less important, making some of the ships jealous. The jealous ZAFT ships would attempt to sabotage the ship during maintenance to make it look bad in battle. James was promoted to FAITH as recognition for successfully leading his crew to victory and impacting in the many victories that ZAFT had. He and his crew were very famous by the time the second bloody Valentine war had broken out.

 

Juli Ercestus was also involved in the war. She was an expert in mechanics and engineering for the Atlantic Federation. She married James a few years before the first bloody valentine war but was forced away from her husband due to her commitment to the Earth Forces when the war started. She helped create some of the Mobile Suits for the Earth Forces and helped a great deal in the war. She did not realize that she wasn't a talented natural but a coordinator until the war ended. When the second war started she offered her services to ZAFT, requesting to be the engineer for James’ ship. Later during the war she couldn’t stand being unable to help her husband protect the ship so she became one of the Mobile Suit pilots to the ship and saved the ship on multiple occasions. For her constant bravery on the battlefield and saving the ship multiple times, she was promoted to FAITH. 

 

His father taught him a variety of different ways to defend himself without a weapon. His father noticed the difference on how Laike was rather shy now since his sister left and insisted that he learn how to communicate better with other people apart from his family but his father was shot by a terrorist a few weeks later after suggesting it. Although the terrorist was killed for his crime, Laike couldn’t help to feel guilty that it was his fault for his father’s death and in state of guilt; he forgot what his father had been trying to teach him before he died and forgot about making any friends. His mother died in a car crash although it was rumored to be set up by the Atlantic Federation for betraying them. Laike and his sister went to the house that Laike had inherited from his father despite it always reminding him of what had happened there. Laike felt as though his parents would want him to help his sister.

 

He was quite worried about his sister after his mother’s death and began to become quite protective, being his last family member alive. His sister however, told him otherwise and said that he shouldn’t worry about her. He took his sister advice and began his military training. He excelled in all of the previous training missions until just recently when he finished his training and became a ZAFT military soldier. He was glad when he had completed his training and expects that he will be more than just the ordinary soldier.

 

It is normal to see sitting alone playing the piano, out in the tennis courts practicing his skill or just sitting around challenging himself with his video games or practice his fighting skills. He did used to verse his sister and teach her how to fight until she got a job in Orb and moved away. He also likes to plan ahead and think about the future. Although girls always had their eyes on Laike, he always ignored them knowing that they were only interested in his abilities and not who he is. This sometimes made him feel lonely as he noticed other people in groups while he sat alone. He also told himself that it is better to be alone than to be surrounded by people who only want to use him. Laike would get into fights occasionally, when one of the other boys were trying to show off to the girls but their plan would always end up in failure as Laike would always be able to beat them every time.

 

Laike is determined to do something that will make a big difference to ZAFT like his parents did in the bloody Valentine wars. He will not stop until he has surpassed his parents and show ZAFT he can be better than his parents were before him. Laike has excelled in any task so far that he has been given despite being very big. Many of the military soldiers that work around him say that he has his father’s pride and his mother’s intelligence but Laike always think that they are merely complimenting him because they were great supporters of his father, or so he thinks.

Edited August 20, 2007 by Guest

[Valiant 96]

We had a very long debate with regards to unnatural hair colour. I would suggest you use the search function to find the hair debate thread and read up on it. The decision is that no unnatural hair colour is to be used. Dyed hair are acceptable but not natural hair colour of weird shades.

 

Please check through for proper capitalization and punctuation.

 

I only briefly skimmed through it.

 

I'm not sure if there are more sentence structure problems but here's one that I spotted:

 

James Rinawan was a well known and respected soldier of ZAFT due to the two bloody Valentine wars which he fought in many battles and barely escaped every time although for this he had made a lot of enemies.

 

The sentence is too long. It makes it very tiring to read the line.

 

 

James Rinawan was a well known and respected ZAFT veteran of the two Bloody Valentine Wars. James fought in many battles and barely escaped every time. This has led to him making a lot of enemies.

 

Above is an example of how to break it up.

 

You would need to explain why him fighting in battles led to him making many enemies.

[PhoenixForce 0]

Alright I have made a few changes. I have changed it so Laike dyes his hair blue. I also named the natural colour.I have fixed the sentance structure problem. When doing so I found one other sentance structure problem that I fixed.I also fixed a punctuation problem that I noticed.Lastly I added the extra detail about how James fighting in battles led to making enemies.I think they're might be some errors still there as I was tired when I checked the puntuaction and sentance structure problems.

 

 

Edited August 13, 2007 by Guest

[liubei013 0]

I'm too tired to really look into any grammatical...but anyways...

 

From what I've read, the two paragraphs about the parents' military background should be placed before the rest of the history, since it should be in chronological order.  (e.g. mother's death via car crash doesn't make sense with the flow of the history until the abrupt information about their military background. 

 

Otherwise, I do not see any significant issues.

[PhoenixForce 0]

I dont know how I missed something as noticeable as that.No sleep does that.Anyway I rearranged the paragraphs and put the parents history first.

[fireminerva 0]

I'm sorry to make this process take any longer but Laike's age and the year that his parents met don't add up.  If Laike's parents met just after the First Bloody Valentine War then the absolute oldest that Laike could be is 14 so I'm sorry but you're going to have to rethink that part of your character's history.  Also your character's history seems to focus a lot on Laike's parents and even though our parents are the ones who do the most to define who we are I'd like to know a little more about Laike himself.

 

Please also note that there are still sentence and spelling errors which can be easily ammended if you copy and paste what you've written here into MS Word or another program with a spell check.

[PhoenixForce 0]

alright I have updated the profile a little. I might still have to put in some more though as I didn't get time to see if there was anything else I could add.

[fireminerva 0]

There are a couple of spelling errors which I'd like you to look into but aside from that it looks pretty good. 

[PhoenixForce 0]

Alright now I am hoping there are no more spelling mistakes as I did put this onto a MS word document and checked the mistakes. I haven't yet checked to see if there are any words that are being used incorrectly. 

Edited August 18, 2007 by Guest

[fireminerva 0]

I'm going to go for it.  Approved, just please remember to put a link to your character profile in your signature.